I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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