is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
