I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
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