doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
