it's too hot outside to masturbate.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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