I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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