Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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