in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
