He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
