This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
