im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
