I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
