I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
