Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
