I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
