she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
