He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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