As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
