Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
