apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
