Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
