there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
