I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
