Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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