Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Can I color on your dick again?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
