I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
