I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
