Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
