why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
