Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
