This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
