you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Is this like a preordered booty call?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
