So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
