farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
