can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
