I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My life is pants optional.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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