do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
