One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
