so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
is wine microwaveable?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Rumble strips road head = magical
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
