doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
