that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
