I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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