In the future we'll all be gay
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Small penises have feelings too.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
