I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
