Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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