quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
