he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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