Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
