my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
