i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
